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User blog:PrettyRaveGirl/Big Changes
Where do I start off? Note: I had to do this on a regular type page so that Bully Fanon wouldn't log me out and delete it. It has happened to me before and has pissed me off a numerous amount of times. Well, there is always something wrong with my life as usual. To be honest, I'm still trying to find out who I am and why I was placed here on Earth. That is what I always think about. It happens all the time for me to think this way. Like I said before, I just do not really think I'm human, but rather something else. I do not know, I was just told that it was all depersonalization, that it was all my head, but I think otherwise. So the big deal is, I'm moving out of my mom's house. “Why is that?” You ask. I'll tell you you why. We have been fighting a lot recently. My mom couldn't handle it and she thought it was all because of my mental illness, but no, it wasn't. Remember how I told you guys about the religion thing? I fought with her over becoming a Mormon, and that set her off because she's anti-religious. However she is especially prejudiced over Mormons even though they did NOTHING to her. She is trying to force me into believing that they are bad people. Not only that, but I started talking about how I wanted to live with my dad and how things would be better living with him. So she finally decided that I would move in with Dad instead, since I wanted to so much. So I'm moving in with him over the summer up in Utah and finally get to be with my Mormon family. I'll be finishing high school up there and will be going to a totally different church. Also, this may be a bit surprising to some of you who have never heard me say this before. I'm considering going into the fashion business for modeling. Gasp, I know! Shocking, isn't it? Okay, not really, but I keep on putting it off because I don't really have time to get my pictures in. Not just that, but people would keep telling me that I should model. However, I've had my mom tear me down saying, “No one will take you in because of your surgical scars.” “Not many people get to be models.” The stupid thing we did was submit pictures of me from 3 years ago (pictures that were different looking because I grew up from then). We submitted them into two agencies, and we were ignored, because the pictures that we sent were old. Mom refused to do it again with newer photos. Hopefully I can try and start in Utah. I understand, my mom was doing the best for me as she possibly could, only to end up in a shattered relationship. I'm going to abandon my current life once I do get up to Utah. It will be very strange for me to do this. -No more anime- -No more yaoi- the good stuff -No more tea- this I will miss the most. -No more video games -No more internet- for most of the part. -No more BULLY- I have now realized that this is one of most horrible games I ever played. I will be placing school work on top of everything. Nothing fun will happen unless my dad says something. I'll be putting myself on strict rule. I'm just trying to fit in and be normal for once. I'm also going to stop taking my medications, because I swear they're making things worse. I lost all of my creativity and motivation once I began taking them. My mom is unsure about this idea. But I swear, the help of the church will protect me. Hopefully? Wish me luck guys! Category:Blog posts